Tiger Lilly
by XxxCrimson FatexxX
Summary: "Haji? Is that...is that my name?" He stared back at me with emptiness, not seeing me but looking through me. I was not Saya to him, but a stranger.
1. Even Now

**Tiger Lily**

_**Saya**_

I opened my eyes to a white room. My head ached with the after affects of a horrible headache and my limbs pulsated with restlessness. _ 'Why do I feel this way?' _I weakly pushed myself up and looked around. '_Where am I?'_

Everything felt so incredibly familiar but at the same time felt so frigidly unfamiliar. There was a light beeping off to the left of me where a small IV tube ran itself into my pale arm. A cold sweat beaded at my hairline as it leisurely ran down my flushed cheeks.

I gazed down at my shaking hands and huffed. _'Why-'_ my attention was drawn to the door as it opened and a much older woman, followed by two middle-aged men, stepped in. The woman had long graying blond hair. She wore a white lab coat with pockets on either side and a knee length red dress as an elegant necklace hung comfortably between her breasts.

Worry struck her features when she first laid eyes on me. "Saya, you look pained. How are you feeling?"

"I-I'm," I rasped, exceedingly surprised by the frailty of my voice. I cleared my throat and sat up straighter. "I have a bit of a headache but that's all."

The woman smiled benevolently but a hint of sorrow lurked between her lips. "Saya…Do you remember me?"

As I was about to shake my head, it all came back to me. I knew all three of them. They were once dear friends of mine. How could I possibly forget?

"Yes, Julia, David, and Lewis," I smiled faintly, locking eyes with each of them as I spoke their long forgotten names. "I remember all of you."

"Ah, good," She swallowed dryly and took off her black framed glasses, taking on a grim composure. "…Do you remember anything that happened right after you woke up from your thirty year sleep, by any chance?"

I thought for a moment. It seemed to come in waves, the memory. But they were more so hazy radio signals than actual images. Slowly, I shook my head as she gave a long remorseful sigh. "That's what I was afraid of."

"Julia, just tell her. It'll be easier that way," Julia glanced over her shoulder at David, his expression sullen.

"Yes…Yes…I know"

"Tell me what?" I peered around curiously.

"Saya," she stared intently into my maroon orbs. "something happened, an accident, when you first woke up. As I've been told, Kai and Haji-"

"H-Haji…?" My voice cracked, the words falling with echoes of disbelief. "He's alive?" I struggled to hold back the tears burning at the edge of my eyes.

"Yes, he's alive." She nodded reassuringly. "But something happened when he and Kai went to you."

"…What?" Was all I dare said, not fully trusting my voice.

"Two men, and we are unsure of their purpose at this point," she paused only to take a deep breath. "Haji and Kai were gunned down by the two men."

I went numb. I could feel nothing as I tried gasping for the air that never seemed to come. I couldn't think through all the jumbled thoughts surging through my already defeated mind.

"What? Kai…what happened to him?"

She averted her eyes from me then. "Kai…died instantly…"

"…No…" I whispered as the tears willed to fall but I swiftly blinked them away, careful not to cry in front of them. The words spread through my head like a lethal poison. It felt so wrong…so dreadfully wrong. My heart seemed as if it would pound out of my chest. It stung with a smoldering intensity. "And Haji…?"I said, pleading to stray my mind from what I'd just heard.

"Well, Saya…Haji hasn't woken up yet but-"

"Doctor Julia, the patient in 205 is unresponsive and confused. We need a little help!" A nurse slammed the door open with panic evident in her small voice.

"Sir, you can't take those off! Calm down!" We heard a nurse yell.

"Where am I?"

"Sir, if you'll just calm down-"

"No!" the patient's voice rang out into the wide room as I bound to my feet.

"It's Haji," I said, ripping the IV from my arm and pushing past the people blocking the doorway. Lewis caught my wrist and pulled me back. "Saya, no. This isn't-"

"He's my chevalier, let go of me!" I yanked my arm from his grasp and ran into the crowd of people overflowing into the hall from room 205.

"Haji!" I called but he didn't respond, his eyes darting to anyone but me.

"Sir, you must put those IV's back in!"

"Haji!" I moved further into the sea of people. I slid my hand over his shoulder to get his attention. "Haji!" He turned around and looked down at me, his eyes holding nothing but fear and loss. He didn't seem to recognize me. He saw me as though I were a meaningless stranger…

"Haji…? Is that…my name?"

**A/N: I hope you liked the prologue! I would love if you commented on it, I need as much advice as I can get! Criticism is welcome!**


	2. The Truth?

**Chapter 2**

_**Saya**_

His bright blue orbs held nothing but fear and loss of an unknown kind.

"Haji…?" His voice seemed strained. "Is that my name?"

Innocence, he's so implausibly innocent. It took me aback.

'_He doesn't know…how couldn't he know? Why doesn't he remember?' _answerless questions coursed through my brain at the speed of light as I couldn't make myself comprehend the facts.

"Sir, sit down!"

"Sir, you must relax!" I could feel I was losing him, his attention, with the incessant shouting.

"Yes! Your name is Haji!" I tried to project my voice high above the overly obnoxious nurses.

"Who are you?" his voice was of a whisper, his eyes holding a certain gleam of hope.

"Ok, let's leave them alone," Julia stated, motioning everyone towards the door. "Saya, try to get on back on the monitors, will you?" She gave me a diminutive, bitter smile.

"Yes, I'll try."

With the sound of the door clicking closed, I whirled around to meet Haji's speculating orbs.

"Who are you?" He repeated, his tense muscles relaxing with the stillness of the room.

"My name is…Saya," I spoke lucidly.

"Who are you to me? How do you know my name?"

With his undying questions, a wave of disconsolation shuddered through me in a seething motion of sorrow. I could hear my heart gradually cracking in my ears as I knew of Haji's suffering all those years ago when I was the one in his place. It was as if he'd stabbed me with my own sword while laughing, no reluctance in sight, no regret.

I didn't know what to say. His friend, his lover, his queen? How could possibly I tell him what he really was? That'd just be cruel.

Just before the MET was turned into rubble, he whispered to me three words: _I love you._ What did those words make us? Confusion worsening, I decided upon the simplest answer. "I'm a close friend, Haji."

"For how long?" He peeked out of the window nervously, his subconscious telling him something was wrong, creating paranoia.

'_Centuries.'_ "Since we were kids…"

"How old am I?"

'_Too many years to be remembered.' _ "Twenty-two."

"And you?"

"Twenty-five," I said since I was technically older than him.

His eye cut from the window to me in a quick instance almost as if he didn't believe me.

"Why am I here? What happened to me? Why can't I remember anything?"

"Haji…" I began, choosing my words carefully. "I don't know. I-"

He spun around from his place at the looking glass and with a firm grip on my shoulders, he shook me. "Yes, you do. Tell me the truth," his voice gruff.

The truth…he didn't need to know the truth…not now…not yet. Wide-eyed, I swallowed dryly as I tried clearing my throat. "You…" I trailed off, Kai's death suddenly smacking me in the face. Tears swelled in my eyes, threatening to fall with a smoldering intensity. I averted my gaze to the white speckled blue floor. He forced me to meet his eyes once more as he lifted my chin with two fingers. "Saya, please tell me." His soulful orbs bore into mine with a twinge of nostalgia.

My heart fluttered at the way he said my name. A piece of my Haji was still in there somewhere. I knew it…I felt it with all of my being.

"You and my brother were shot." I forced the tears away, not willing to let myself cry…not yet…not in front of Haji. "He died immediately but you survived. Only now, you can't remember anything," I said impassively, hiding my emotions the best way I knew how as the unremitting beeping noises of the medical machines were finally irking on my last nerve.

"He's dead? I'm so sorry," he said remorsefully, suddenly his whole body language shifting into something more. "Yeah." I wiped at the sting in my burning eyes. "Could you please get hooked up to those machines again? It's important that you do so we can figure out why you can't remember. Um," trembling, I ran my fingers through my long raven hair. "I'm going to go talk to Julia. I'll be back later to check on you." I tried to smile before I turned around to leave.

"Saya, I know how hard it must be to lose someone so close to you."

My hand on the knob, I looked back long enough to say, "Well, you wouldn't remember that feeling now, would you?" With that, I left him with my horrible feelings of negativity and frigid loneliness. As I heard the door wheezing shut, I bowed my head so no one would see the wet hot tears forming in my itching eyes.

"Ah, Saya, did you convince him to get back on the machines?" I didn't answer, I didn't even glance her way, I just kept walking down the opposite hall. I didn't trust myself, not my voice, not my face, nothing. I refused to have a meltdown in the midst of everything. "Saya? Are you alright?"

I heard her swift footsteps nearing from behind. "Saya, I know it's hard," she said as she put her hand on my back comfortingly.

Why the hell did every keep saying that to me? I didn't need to hear it, I was dealing with it. I shrugged off her touch, whispering, "No, I'm fine," my voice cracking with each word. The maddening sound of her clicking high heels lastly ceased not far behind me.

I needed to get away, to be free to cry and scream all at the same time. I needed to let it all out…let it all go.


	3. Never Again

**A/N: Hey everyone! Thanks for the reviews! They really encouraged me to keep writing! Sorry for the lateness! Please enjoy this next chapter!**

_Saya_

"I know I've said it probably about a hundred times by now but I still can't get over seeing you here. I still can't believe you're awake," Kira's voice came in waves. It was more of a distant buzzing that seemed to drone on and on incessantly on the outer edges of my hectic mind the anything else. She'd been talking non-stop. Her words perceived to have no end, wafting out into the air ceaselessly. It didn't anger me as much as it irritated me as she was keeping me from my own thoughts.

'_Kai…he's gone…I'll never see him again. I never even got to say goodbye…I-'_

"Aunt Saya? Aunt Saya? Hey!" Kira tugged my arm roughly, ripping me from my dazing thoughts for the last time. "Are you alright?" She eyed me peculiarly, looking me up and down. "You look a little…pale…I guess." She turned to her twin for a second opinion. "What do you think, Akira?" The ruby eyed girl stared at me over her book, shifting her rimless glasses down to the middle of her nose. "She looks fine to me," she said apathetically as her eyes carried back to the words in front of her, obviously more interested in her book than me. But I didn't mind. I actually enjoyed being the last thought rather than the first. It seemed to suit me much better. I never was one much for attention.

Kira shrugged her shoulders at me. "Anyway," she sighed dramatically, evidently annoyed by her sister's ignorance. "Are you alright? You seem so…reserved. Did something happen?"

My eyes widened at her lack of knowledge. No one told them? They'd been there for thirty minutes and still they knew nothing? Why had everyone neglected to tell them? Why had _**I**_ neglected them? I'd been so caught up in my own misery; I'd disregarded to pay them the slightest of mind. What a horrible aunt I already turned out to be.

"You mean, you don't know?"

She frowned. "No, no one's told us anything."

"Then how did you know to come down here?"

"Well, Julia called us saying dad was waiting to introduce us to you but I haven't seen him yet," she peered over my shoulder and into the crowd, absently searching for that familiar face.

'_Julia told them Kai would be here? How could she? That's cruel!'_ Infuriated, my eyes shot over to Julia who 'innocently' typed on her computer.

"Julia! Did you tell them that?"

She glanced up briefly. "Tell them what?"

"Did you tell them Kai would be waiting for them!" I couldn't help but yell. How could anyone possibly do that to someone? To tell them a dead man was waiting for them. "He'll never be waiting for-"

"Saya!" she was instantly on her feet, giving me a certain look of secrecy. "I need to speak with you privately."

"Hey, what is Aunt Saya talking about? Where is dad?" Kira spoke frantically, tears swelling in her sapphire gaze.

Julia pulled me into the closest room and shut the door. "Saya-"

"Julia! Why would you tell them he'd be here when he's dead?"

"Saya, I thought it was best you told them yourself."

"Me? You want me to tell them? I've been asleep for thirty years. They have no clue who I am. They should be told by someone they know."

"But you're their family. I'd have Haji tell them in your place but since he's ill-equip at the moment, I thought it was better that you did it."

"No, I can't…I barely know them."

"Saya," she put a hand on my strong shoulder. "You're the only family they have left."

After a long, slow moment I nodded. "…Fine…but what you did was cowardly and wrong," the fury evident in my usual soft tone.

"Saya, what I did is what I thought was best," she gave me a bitter-sweet smile and motioned for them to come in as she opened the door.

"What is it?" Kira inquired when she and Akira entered the room.

"T-There's something I need to tell the two of you," I said slowly, careful to keep my voice steadfast.

"I'll leave you to then, Saya," Julia said, leaving me with the wide eyed queens, searching for the answers in me.

Another pause…but this one…this one was different…longer…more tension sizzling in the air.

"Come on, Aunt Saya, what is it?" Akira spoke impatiently.

I took in a deep breath and decided just to say it. "Kai was never waiting for you. He and Haji were shot. He died at impact but-"

"What'd you mean died at impact?" Kira broke in abruptly, her eyes blurry with new tears.

"Kai's gone…" I kept my voice at the same level as hers. "He isn't coming back." I felt like crying…I wanted to but…I couldn't. I'd cried myself dry.

"My dad is dead?" Akira asked, tears streaking her perfect alabaster skin.

"I'm so sorry."

"No…he can't be..dead…I talked to him just this morning."

I shook my head. I didn't know how to respond to that. I didn't know how to tell people bad news period. I'd never been good at it. Haji was always the one who did those things. Haji…

"Haji survived but he-"

"Haji? You mean he's ok?"

"No…Haji suffered severe brain trauma and memory loss."

"So he doesn't even remember you, Aunt Saya?"

"No…h-he doesn't…"

"Saya, we've just received the test result from Haji's brain scans," Julia yelled from her desk.

"Ok, we'll be right-"

"Oh, Aunt Saya, I don't know what we'll do without our dad," Kira sobbed as she embraced me. Akira stayed to herself, crying silently by the window.

"Saya…you need to come take a look at this," Julia called a second time. Kira pulled away and nodded to me. Together, we walked out to the doctor. "Saya, here," she handed me the results. "You see how his brain waves remain stable all through the test?"

"Yes…"

"If those tests are accurate, Haji's in a coma."

**A/N: Oh my God! A coma? Really? I guess you'll have to read the next chapter to find out but the only way to get it is to REVIEW! I hope everyone liked this chappie!**


	4. Tell me

Chapter 4

_Saya_

"If these tests are accurate, Haji's in a coma."

"A coma? But he's awake and responsive. How could he be in a coma?"

"It seems as though he's on auto pilot. Perhaps this is the real reason for his memory loss." She was utterly astonished by her own words.

"Auto pilot? What do you mean?"

"It's only a theory at this point but maybe the frontal temporal lobe, which was the bullets access point, is induced in a coma."

"How is this even possible?

"Well, from the X-rays we took of his brain, it appears that the bullet is lodged too far into the brain than we anticipated and we are unable to remove it without creating serious damage to the brain."

"Is there any sign that his memory will ever come back?"

She let out a sigh of respite. "Saya, at this point, there isn't much we can tell," there was something I couldn't quite detect that clung at the end of her words…was that guilt perhaps?

"Do you think it's even a possibility?"

"I think there might be a chance of that but nothing is ever certain."

I stumbled back as it suddenly hit me. Haji might not ever remember who I was. Never remember our times together. Never love me again. Never…not even the slightest bit. It was as if someone had stomped on my lungs. I couldn't breathe. Every time I gasped for air, I only received a burning sensation that radiating deep down inside my chest. My stomach clenched and turned as the nausea set in. All our memories together would be forgotten, ripped out of history like a page from a worthless book. Everything was spinning. I couldn't stop them. I was falling…falling…falling…and then nothing but the darkness that consumed me.

I felt strong arms envelope me from behind. "Saya! Saya!" Their voices all seemed to run together, morphing and changing within each other in a distant echo of hysteria.

"Saya?" Then his enchanting voice filled my ears with its delightful sound. "What's wrong with her?"

"I don't know. I think she's having a panic attack." Bright light…bright as if the sun shinned itself in my eyes, blinding me with its fury. It scorched my skin.

'_It burns…it burns!' _ I screamed inwardly, flinching away from the deadly orb of light as I shielded my eyes.

"Saya, listen to me, you're having a panic attack. I need you to take slow deep breaths and try to relax for me, ok?" Absently I nodded as mind wandered elsewhere.

"I-I'm alright, let me up," I mumbled drowsily while I tried (unsuccessfully if I might add) to sit up.

"No, Saya, you need to stay down," the doctor insisted, pushing me back down.

"No really, I'm fine. I just got a little light headed."

"Will someone get me something to put under her head? A pillow or a blanket?"

"No, I'm ok," I stumbled to my feet as my knees quivered. Haji was right by my side to steady me and for a second it caught me off guard. For a second, I forgot about everything that'd happened over the past twenty-four hours. For a second, it was as if nothing had happened at all. Like my loyal Chevalier, he was there. I leaned into him for support. "Thanks," I whispered. I didn't want him to let go. I wanted to stay in his arms forever; to be able to forget about Kai and the potential war rising.

'_Another war…God I don't think I can handle it especially with everything like it is. With most of the Red Shield gone and Haji with severe memory loss, it'll be an easy win for the others…'_

"I can stand, Haji, thank you."

"What happened to you just now?" he said in a low voice, almost as if he didn't want to the others to hear.

"I just got a little light headed is all," I put on a slight, fabricated smile. "I'm going to go get some fresh air." I left Haji's warm body reluctantly and lastly ventured to the outside where I might be able to think.

_Haji_

As I watched Saya leave, I felt oddly compelled to follow her even though I didn't know her…or didn't remember her. Even still, she was the only person I felt I could trust. Her leaving left me with a feeling of nothingness. It was like someone had placed a blanket of sorrow around me and it wouldn't stop but only incased.

"Aren't you going to follow her?" The woman named Julia inquired with keen eyes.

"Am I supposed to?"

"Well, the old Haji would've been at her side in a second, telling her everything would be alright or they'd get through it together."

I took my tired eyes to the ground; angered she'd even compare me to that familiar stranger that was no more. "That person is no more."

"Oh yes he is," she laughed, "you're just not looking deep enough."

"How am I supposed to do that?"

"Give it time. It'll all come back if you try hard enough. You'll know what to do."

"How?"

"Trust me, you'll know. It's a part of the 'humans' natural instinct." The way this woman said "human" gave me a strange sense of eerie disposition. What did she mean by that? It didn't make sense. But then again, nothing made sense anymore.

'_Should I follow her?' _Without my consent, my feet moved me forward towards the door she exited through. My body knew what to do but my mind didn't…how is that possible?

The cool summer breeze caressed my face gently as I eased open the door. I saw Saya standing at the edge of the building that over looked the ocean, gazing out into the wide body of salty wonder. She looked so amazingly beautiful with her long raven hair flowing in the wind.

I proceeded to come closer to her, joining her on her voyage to find the right answers. Were there such things? Right answers I mean. Could there be one? Aren't there an infinite number of possibilities for just one question? Of course. There are never question less answers; only answerless questions.

"Haji…why is this happening?" She inquired before I even reached her. _'How did she know it'd be me?'_

"Uh…Bad luck I guess."

"Bad luck?" she chuckled humorlessly. "It's some pretty bad luck then."

"It is that."

She grabbed her gorgeous hair and smoothed it back to make it into a neat ponytail. She sat down on the soft grass and patted the spot beside her. "Will you sit here with me for awhile?"

'_Why did this all feel familiar in some abstract way?'_ I sat down without a second thought just like before. What was happening?

"Do you think we're cursed?"

"Cursed?"

"Yeah…cursed. Maybe we did something in the past to deserve this or maybe the world is against us."

"Why would the world be against us, Saya?" I laughed, thinking she must be sarcastic.

"Because of what we are…"

"…What do you mean? What are we?"

Her eyes cut to me for a swift moment as if what she said was confidential and I wasn't qualified to know anymore.

"Saya?"

"I…I just meant that maybe the world doesn't like the people we've become…that's all." There was a small hint of deception hidden within her words that made me cynical of the truth.

An enduring stillness settled upon us after a moment. It wasn't vexatious as I initially thought it would be. It was soothing and serene. I suspected we'd sat in silence many times before then somewhere in the faraway past.

"Saya…?"

"Yes?"

"What happened back there?"

"I told you, I just felt a little light headed," she said in a rush like she was avoiding the subject.

"Doctor Julia said it was probably a panic attack."

"I don't have anything to panic about…"

"Saya," I fixed my eyes on her with a firm gaze. "why won't you tell me the truth? If we were as close as you say then why won't you tell me?"

"Haji…it's different now. You don't know anything about me let alone yourself. Telling you wouldn't mean anything for either of us now."

"Why does it have to be different? I'm still the same person I was yesterday just somewhat forgetful now. I haven't changed."

"Haji, you know that's not what I meant. How can you ever be the same person if you can't remember anything that helped mold you into the man you are today?"

"Well I suppose I'll have to depend on you for that." I smiled wryly, hoping to somehow lighten the sullen mood.

"Depend on me?"

"You could tell me who I was."

"No…it's not my place to tell you those things. You must remember…on your own," Saya blinked a few times as if realizing something and shook her head.

"Oh, well then…I suppose whatever will be will be," I exasperated, trying not to let it get to me. The truth was her words infuriated me. How was I to remember everything on my own? My memory had been wiped clean like chalk from a slate.

"What…did you just say?" She asked, the look sheer wonder obvious in her maroon orbs.

**A/N: Hooray for a longer chapter! Hmmm…maybe he remembers more than he's saying he does or perhaps it's just pure coincidence…what'd you think? Well, you're going to have to REVIEW to get the next chapter to find out! So review! **


	5. Without Fact

**A/N: Forgive me! I know I'm tremendously late on the update and I'm sorry! Things have been so hectic around here that I haven't found the right times to write! Thanks for your reviews, everyone! I really appreciate them! Ok, please enjoy the next chappie!**

Chapter 5

_Saya_

"_Remember, Saya, whatever will be will be."_

"_No, not Haji. Haji!"_

The long dreaded nightmare that robbed me of my slumber so many nights flashed before me in a matter of mere seconds as Haji spoke the words once more. Even now, it stung to hear them. Even after all that'd happened and all the time that'd passed us by, it still burned with a horrifying intensity.

"I said 'whatever will be will be'."

'_He must remember something because…no…it's probably only coincidence…pure coincidence. But perhaps it isn't. Haji's memories might be locked away but some of it was spilling out. Maybe he's still in there somewhere. I just have to figure how to find him again.'_

"…That's what I thought you said…" I said somewhat nostalgically.

"What?" he inquired, noticing the palpable change in the air around me. I shrugged and shook my head. "It's just…just that you said that to me before you-" I immediately cut myself off, knowing already I'd said too much. I tried to let it die with the oncoming silence but then he asked, "Before I what?"

I turned to him and stared for what seemed like the longest time, not knowing what to say. What could I say? I couldn't possibly tell him everything all at once. It'd be too much. He wouldn't even believe me. After a while, I just decided to smile nonchalantly and shake my head. "You know what? It's irrelevant. You only just woke up. Asking me about the past isn't a wise decision right now."

He averted his sparkling gaze from mine and set it upon the bluish-green body of water. The sea was so wondrously magnificent in its way of serenity and resoluteness. In the distance, I could hear the waves crashing against the dissolving shore. The aroma of evaporating salt water enveloped my senses, letting myself drift away within its fiction. Nothing could've fazed me at that very moment. I always adored the ocean no matter what was happening around me. It always seemed to be the answer.

I could see the moon trying to peek over the horizon as the sun set in the background of the beautiful dusk. The sky was filled with an over abundance of various colors. From blues to pinks, to yellows and purples. Simply spectacular.

There was a slight chill in the air as darkness began to fall upon us and the new night welcomed the luminous opal in the sky.

As if in mid thought, he looked back to me and spoke almost like he was in reasoning with himself. "Though it would be an unwise decision it would be my choice…" What he said instantly took me aback. The old Haji would've never thought twice about something if I was against it. But then again, maybe that wasn't a bad thing.

"…Yes…"

"Then I choose to go into the past."

"Haji, not now."

"Saya, I have the right to know," he persisted.

"But, I don't think it's time for something like this."

"But if it's my choice, then-"

"Haji! I will not discuss this with you any further. If you wish to keep talking, I suggest you find a different topic. I really would love your corporation because I obviously have enough to deal with already." Pure annoyance shot from my fuming, pulsating words. I could almost feel the darkness radiating around me. I made myself sick. Why could I never give Haji what he wanted? It always seemed to compromise whatever_ I_ wanted.

He took a great pause, contemplating whether or not he should say more. "Saya…forgive me. I got carried away. It was not my intentions to upset you. My initial intentions were to help you."

"Help me?"

"Saya, I might not have my memories but my feelings are all the same."

'_His feelings are the same? Is he saying he still loves me? Impossible…how could you love someone you don't even remember?'_

"What are you saying?" I asked scarcely.

"I'm not sure but-"

"Aunt Saya, David needs to speak with you," Kira said somberly as she came out, eyes drooping with new tears.

"Oh, ok…thanks. Haji," I let my eyes fall back down to his slender form. "We'll talk later…promise?"

"Yeah…promise."

_David_

"Shouldn't we at least tell her she awoke fifteen years pier?" I asked my prevailing wife who stood beside me in the conference room as we awaited Saya's arrival.

"No, absolutely not. With Kai dead, Haji with severe brain trauma, and a potential war breaking out, she has enough to worry about." She sounded as if she had made up her mind with finality.

"When will we tell her? She deserves to know what's happening with her own body. Haji and Kai are of the secondary concern at this point…wouldn't you say, Julia?"

"David, we must take everything one step at a time. She only awoke a few hours ago. There's no need to pour everything on her so suddenly."

"So you do plan to tell her," I stated more as a question than anything else.

She nodded. "Of course, something this serious can't be kept from her."

"How do you intend to hide the year? She's bound to figure it out at some point."

"I'm…I'm not sure. If we keep our calendars put away then it should be alright for a little while at least."

"How did the twins know what to do when they spoke with her?"

"I pulled them aside just before I sent them out to see her."

"Do they know the reason?"

"No, I refused to tell them something so critical and unstable."

I exhaled in frustration, shaking my head at the situation **(hey that rhymed!).** "How could this even happen?" I asked to no one unparticular, rubbing my temples exhaustedly.

"How could what happen?" Saya stood at the entrance without even a shuffle of the feet or click of the door.

"Oh Saya," I started nervously, letting a smile overcome my anxious features. "thank you for coming."

"How could what happen?" she repeated more forcefully.

"Uh...We were just discussing the accident. We don't know how something so horrible could've happened."

"Do we know who's done it, yet?"

"Well, we have a few leads but none we can really trust."

"Were they any witnesses?"

"No but we have great speculation that the two men were indeed associated with chiropterans."

Her eyes grew wide. "Chiropterans? How? Diva's dead."

"We believe someone has somehow preserved Diva's blood in a hidden facility."

She took her eyes from us for a split second before leisurely bringing them back to us. "So it is another war…why? Why now and why at all?"

"Saya…greed is a powerful and controlling aspect in these peoples' lives."

"How could they've possibly found Diva's blood after thirty years?"

I stole a quick glance at Julia and stepped forward slightly. "We're thinking it's someone who was in close relations to Diva and perhaps even the Red Shield many years ago."

"No…that would mean he's betrayed us."

"Perhaps he was never on our side. She had many doctors, assistants, and people whom she fed from. We have it narrowed down to one person."

"Who?"

"Doctors Collins."

"Collins? He must be dead by now. It's impossible."

I huffed in irritation with my eyes firmly glued to Julia. "I think it's time we-"

"Time we do some more research," she came forward. "This information is extremely delicate and I must ask that you keep it strictly between the three of us."

Saya eyed her with question before nodding reluctantly. She knew something was off but she just didn't know what yet. She had a certain gleam of curiosity and speculation lurking within those maroon eyes.

"So…is that all you needed?"

"Uh yes…you can go."

**A/N: You like? I hope so! I know it might not have been great but with school and everything it was the best I could do! Again, sorry for the lateness! The Bloody Rose will be up momentarily…maybe by tomorrow. Reviews are love~!~**


	6. Reality?

**A/N: Hey everyone! Forgive me! I know it's been forever and I do apologize but with school being back in session, I'm having difficulty finding time to write. Thankfully, fall break is now upon us and I will be updating at least one more time before the week is out. Thank you so much for all the reviews (Batman)! By the way, this chapter is extremely confusing. Well, as you wished-chapter six awaits you~**

Chapter 6

_Saya_

I awoke to a world of pure white. My eyes turned to gaze up into the achingly gray sky and watched as the small snowflakes fell in an almost bitter dance of anguish. It seemed to glimmer with an eerie sense of desolation as it sent a chill quivering through my body. I felt nothing but the numbness of the colors consuming me. I scanned the premise and realized I was lying amidst a vast field with only a barren weeping willow to shade it.

I pushed myself up to my feet as the ends of my midnight dress fell around me, just kissing the ground out of mere courtesy.

'_Where am I?' _

An airy chuckle resounded in the void marsh as it echoed off the small particles of white, its carefree bliss out of place in this secret misery. "Don't get ahead of myself? What'd you mean?" Humor flickered in the old man's familiar voice in the distance.

"She has much time," the other man took a pause. '_His voice…it's just like…' _"before she marries, Kai."

"Kai…?" I whispered as the heat of my breath faded in the air, the word swimming in my astonishment. I set off toward them, thinking how unbelievable it all was. As my foot took a step forward, the atmosphere suddenly took a drastic change from sullen and lonely to insolent and relentless. My eyes could only comprehend the incessantly disorienting whiteness that fell in immense sheets as the wind nearly blew me back. My hair wisped around my face, making it even harder to see my way.

I heard another set of gruff laughter though it seemed even further than before. "Oh Haji I know, but it's like a father to worry. It's nice to imagine what I'd do to the punk if he ever tried to marry her." I heard what sounded like a fist slapping against something.

I stumbled through the snow blindly, feeling my way. I took off in a sprint, knowing it had to end eventually. Nothing could last forever, right?

As I came closer, I could feel the warmth of a summer's breeze caress my skin as it rushed passed me. I could see fully bloomed flowers and trees as the delectable aroma of honey suckle filled my senses. The sky radiated a magnificent blue with few clouds dotting its canvas. The sun graciously bathed the world in its cordiality. The birds sung to me in their angelic voices, greeting me to this new place.

It was almost as if we were in separate worlds, both with their diverse ways. How was I trapped in the world of isolation and them in their world of innocence and pleasure?

I came upon the threshold between us and stopped. I placed a discreet finger into the other side as the invisible shield rippled and stopped me from going further.

"No…No!" I thrust my fist against it again and again, with each pound of my fist I let out a cry of animosity. With one last stroke, it shuddered and shattered before me. I ran as swiftly as I was able, quickly coming upon them as their wondrous voices became louder with each long stride. The soft grass felt so refreshing on my feet as I sank into it with each step.

I couldn't lose them again…I couldn't lose Kai again. "Kai!" I cried, managing to project my voice above the wailing cars and animals.

'_Hear me! Oh God, please hear me!'_

Finally, the shimmering concrete came into view as did their slender forms leisurely walking up the stairs to our family tomb.

"Give her room to breathe or she'll be tempted never to return."

"Oh really? And how would you know? Did you father a child during the times Saya slept?"

I was surprised when I heard a low chuckle arise from Haji's chest in the slightest bit of amusement. "No, but Joel I always kept Saya locked within the gates of the zoo, restricting her from the world and the world from her. She opted to runaway but she'd only ever make it to the gates, staring up at them in condescension."

"Oh…I had no idea."

"All is well now, Kai."

The hope, the enthusiasm…it took me aback to hear it in his neutral voice and see it in his reserved eyes.

"Kai," Haji stretched his arm out in front of him to stop him from going any further when they reached the peak of the stairs.

Dumbstruck, Kai followed the chevalier's eyes to the open tomb door. Haji released the bandages from his chiropteran claw as they slowly swayed to the ground while Kai reached for his gun.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, old man." I stopped mid-step as the sound of the man's voice crawled into my ears, unleashing a disdainful feeling of nausea that had me weak at the knees.

"Show yourself!" Kai yelled into the never ending darkness that consumed me in its timeless disease. A rather tall silhouette eased itself into the dim doorway.

'_What's happening? Who is this man?'_

"Come out," Haji commanded. The man shifted slightly and I saw something in his hand reflecting the sunlight.

"Certainly," he moved out in the light, the ebony object glistening in his hand…a gun. He was…faceless. No features but a lurid pit of sorrow took the place of a face.

Kai backed away somewhat as Haji stood his ground since a meek weapon of the human's could do him no harm. The man's gun rose to point at them. "What to do…what to do…" he rasped darkly.

"What do you want?" Haji inquired evenly.

"Maybe it's not what but who…did you ever consider that?"

"Lower your weapon," Haji demanded in a voice so powerful, I nearly squirmed under its dominance.

"Not until you give me what I came for!" he hissed.

"We can't give it to you unless you tell us what it is you want!" Kai shouted, his eyes cutting to Haji every so often. The man's hand slipped into the darkness and suddenly I felt a sharp pain at the top of my head.

"Nonsense, you already have it," the man pulled the trigger and Kai fell limply to the ground.

"Kai!" I screamed as the air trembled around us. I wanted to run to his side but my body wouldn't let me. I seemed to be held in place by an unknown force. Haji's head whipped around to stare directly at me with deep question.

"Sa-"

"Hey! Eyes over here unless you want me to hurt her as well!" the man called. He drug me out of the tomb by my hair as the pain on my head intensified.

"Saya," he whispered, bewilderment obvious in his blue eyes.

The man pressed the cold metal of the 45 against my bare neck.

"Now, it's much quieter without him around."

I saw Haji reach into his back pocket to pull out a silver dagger.

"Hey! What're you doing?" Haji didn't stop nor delay his motions. He threw the dagger at him, sending it ripping through the wind but the dagger disintegrated right before the man. "You really are a horrible chevalier, putting your queen at risk like that. Well, if that's really what you want," he cocked the gun, "I suppose I could-"

"No!" Haji lurched forward somewhat. A silky smile played on the man's lips as his dark intent became palpable.

"Then I suggest you do as I say."

"Take the gun from her neck," Haji nearly sounded as if he were begging.

He yawned. "You're boring me."

"Just give her to me and no more blood shall be spilled."

"Yes but…" he looked up at him through his long golden strands. "that's what I came for." He threw my half conscious form at my chevalier as he caught my effortlessly. Almost instantly, the man shot a bullet straight into Haji's skull followed by several more.

"Haji!" Absently, I tried running to him but my legs…they still wouldn't move!

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Such a selfish queen," he suddenly looked directly at me and pulled the trigger just as I saw Haji beginning to get up.

…

I sat straight up as I gasped for air. My breaths were rapid and choked and the sweat ran down from my forehead. My hand carried up to my mouth to stop the silent screams.

'_What was that?'_

**A/N: Is anyone confused? I really hope not but if you are then please PM me so I can clear it up for you. Please review! They only help me write faster!**


	7. Truth is Fleeting

**A/N: Whoa, I've gotten quite a number of reviews since I've been gone. Sorry I quit writing! Thank you everyone for your continuing support! Ok, time to explain the last chapter since most of you are quite confused. Ok, Saya had a dream of the past. The reason everything was so strange was due to the fact that she didn't actually witness any of it if that makes sense. The shooter was a faceless man simply because it would ruin the plot if I revealed who it really was but I will answer this: no, it is not Solomon. His golden hair just happen to be the color I chose. Onto the bullet that 'took Haji down'. It didn't really take him down but rather slowed him. If you look back on the last chapter right before Saya woke up, he was starting to move again. **

**The dreams that Saya will have throughout this story will be confusing but since when are dreams ever clear?**

**The following chapter will probably be rather short but I will try to update more. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 7**

**_Haji_**

Why did my eyes feel restless? Why did my appetite flee from me? Since I awoke in the hospital, I had yet to sleep or eat. I'd attempted to question Saya about it but it seemed she was dealing with enough at the time.

I couldn't get over my pure fascination of Saya. Every second of ever day I felt I should be glued to her side, watching her every move. I often tried restraining from my…'instinct'. Why did I feel as such? She said we were close friends before the accident but I don't ever recall feeling so compelled by a mere friend. Hell, I couldn't 'recall' anything.

My struggle to stray from her side was futile as I decided to go find her.

**_Saya_**

I seemed to be walking around mindlessly. I couldn't stop myself. My mind kept wandering back to that dream. It was so strange…so real. Had I seen the past? Impossible. People didn't see things like that. Not even…chiropterans. I couldn't make sense of it.

The best thing was to clear it from my mind, but how could I? It almost felt like a message but from who and of what?

"No, stop it, Saya. It was just a dream," I whispered to myself. I took in a long, deep breath, trying to regain my sense and center myself.

I looked up at the towering building before and finally realized where I'd walked. I was at my family tomb and my imprisonment…my seemingly endless sorrow. My eyes traveled around the scene of my brother's end. I could see the dream laid out before as if reliving it again- the man pointing a gun at them, Kai falling to his death, Haji losing his memory…every horrid detail. It was engraved on my eyes. I gazed over to where I envisioned Kai standing. Dry, burnt blood simmered on the concrete under the caking summer sun.

I shook my head and started down the stairs. I couldn't let myself relive it. I couldn't let myself dwell on it any longer.

Somehow I found myself staring across the vast, glimmering ocean. It appeared never ending. It led to endless places and lives. If I could do one thing, it would be to travel the world with Haji replacing my sword. I never wanted to hold another sword again. I never wanted another living creature to die by my hands.

"The smell of the salt water is calming," Haji suddenly appeared beside me.

"Yes…it is. That's why it's my favorite place to think."

"Saya…what are you thinking?"

"Many things...like leaving."

His eyes narrowed. "What?"

"I want to leave Okinawa, Haji," I was facing him then. "I want to travel the world. Just you and me. Let's go. Right now. We can manage. Let's just escape from here. It doesn't feel right to be here without Kai."

"Leave? Right now? Saya, that's insane and completely unorthodox,"

"You're right but why does it matter?"

"Traveling takes long planning and supplies."

I sighed and closed my eyes. "You're right…it was a ridiculous idea."

**_David_**

"Julia...what aren't you telling me? There must be something. It doesn't all add up."

"What doesn't?" Julia had been avoiding me and the subject for a while.

"All of it. It's been almost a week since it all happened. It's time we tell her everything. She deserves to know to she's-"

"Be still, David! Things will become clear in time."

"Clear? Things are clear but you still choose to withhold valuable information."

She growled and turned her back on me. "You have become more of a pest quicker than I anticipated."

"Excuse me?"In one swift motion, she face me again and stabbed my neck with a syringe. My vision become hazy and then black.

**A/N: Like I said, short! That's all I could squeeze out of my brain at the moment. Ok, so somethings seriously wrong with Julia but what...? I will try my best to update as soon as possible! Reviews are love~!~**


	8. The Return

**A/N: Hi everyone! Thank you all so much for the reviews! Perhaps your questions about Julia shall be revealed in this chapter. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 8**

_**Saya**_

"No, Saya," He brushed the stray hair from my eyes and held his hand by my cheek. I could see countless instances of the same instant flashing before his eyes. He blinked and put his hand down as if it were nothing. "It's a wonderful idea but we need a bit more time to think about something like this. Where are you planning to go for instance?"

"I don't know," I shrugged. "Anywhere. Let's go anywhere, Haji." I slid my hand over his and laid it upon my cheek once more, holding it there, relishing in the soft, velvet touch of his skin.

"When?" He inquired, the slightest bit flustered by my actions, though only I could tell as he masked it so well.

"Anytime."

"Alright, then it's settled. We leave tomorrow." He gave me a benevolent smile.

"Tomorrow?" I asked in surprise.

"Are you re-thinking it now?" His smile widened.

"No! I just never though you'd agree with me."

"How could I not, Saya?"

I felt a sharp pain stab my heart as his words fell. I don't know why….I don't know why I thought things would be different now. Why…?

Even after losing all his life, he's still the same chevalier that he'd always been-obedient, submissive Haji. I loved him so much and yet it only seemed his nature forced him to adore me. I didn't want to hurt Haji anymore but it seemed I couldn't help it.

I withdrew from him and turned back to the ocean. Forlorn washed over him as his brow knitted.

"Haji, just a week ago, you said that your feelings haven't changed. What did you mean by that?" I asked, not taking my eyes from the glistening ocean as the waves rolled and crashed against the mighty rocks.

"Saya, I still-"

"Hey! You promised us sushi remember!?" Kira yelled from the road with her hand high in the air with a manic wave. Akira had her nose in a book as usual. She waved absently without glancing up.

_**Haji**_

I knew what she was asking the moment the words left her tongue. I may be amnesiac but I'm not stupid. I'd been fleeing from the truth ever since I realized it. Whoever I was to Saya…that person loved her very deeply. Am I the same person even without all my memories of her? Are the feelings still real or are they just echoes of them?

_Am I even worthy? _

What was that? That thought…that wasn't my own. What kind of a question was that anyway? Of course I'm worthy. Who is not worthy to love another?

_I am not worthy of her love. _

There's that voice again. It sounds like my own. How is that possible? Why would I not be deserving of her love?

_**Julia**_

"Yes, I had to put him down. He knew something was off far too swiftly than I could've imagined. Perhaps we ought to give these human more credit." I said jadedly through the cell phone.

"And what of him now? I hope you plan to replace him. With his sudden disappearance, Saya will suspect something."

"Well, of course. Who do you think I am?"

"Keep them as long as you can so Saya doesn't notice the change."

"Of course."

He sighed heavily and for a moment there was silence. "Shiki…commence in our plan. I never thought it would happen so quickly but it seems we have no choice. Do it soon…very soon."

"Of course, master Amshel."

**A/N: Forgive me for yet another short chapter! I'll try to make the next one longer. Ok, Amshel is back but remember! This is a story of "What if?" so don't critic me too bad on it. Reviews are love~!~**


	9. Is this reality or merely a dream?

**A/N: Hello, everyone! Thank you all so much for you support! I need all I can get. This chapter is going to be longer! Woohoo! Ok, the following scene takes place at the pub. Enjoy~!~**

**Chapter 9**

**_Saya_**

_"Then it's settled, we leave tomorrow,"_ Haji had a certain gleam of adventure and hope in his eyes that I hoped I'd have again one day. Hope was dead to me. Hope was a lost word in my mind, foreign to my tongue.

I was happy Haji was able to experience it again. He was the first to lose hope. I had broken him and his faith. But this new Haji was different though not so much so that he had become unrecognizable. I missed the old Haji- the one who loved me. I feared I would never get that again. I was afraid the Haji I knew was void, never to return.

Unconsciously, Haji had abandoned me though not on his own accord. Even still, a part of me wanted to hate him for leaving me but I knew it wasn't his fault. With Kai gone, I felt completely alone in this vast world. It was as if I was suffocating from every day life. It didn't matter what I did or where I went, it always followed.

_"Haji…remember when you said that your feelings were all the same...?" _

_"…Yes…" his eyes cut to me nervously._

_"What did you mean?" I inquired, my voice trembling with curiosity. _

The memories of the day's activities flooded my mind with wonder and possibility. But with it came a lingering feeling of anguish.

"Saya…Saya…AUNT SAYA!"Kira's yells made me jump and my head shot up.

"What?" I asked moronically.

"I said: 'do you want any soy sauce for you sushi?'"

"Oh…No," I shook my head and looked back down.

"What's up with you lately? You always seem so…dazed, lost even," Akira finally spoke up with an ill-mannered tone to her voice.

Shocked by her words, I stumbled over mine. "I…I-"

"I what?! You know, you've been like that ever since Kai died!" By that time, Akira was on her feet leaning over the table with a murderous glare. I flinched at the very sound of his name as my eyes glassed.

"Akira! Sit down! Don't say things like that!" Kira cried as she tried to pull her other half down.

Akira shook off her touch without taking her eyes from me. "We lost him too! He was like a father to us! So stop sulking around like you lost someone as precious to you as he was to us! Kai left us to you but hell; you've been asleep for the last fifteen years! You don't know shit about us and you don't seem to have a clue about anything!"

I was so taken aback by her words, I didn't have time to process it all. I peered over to Haji who was just as confused and shocked as I was.

"Akira!" Kira yelled with such nefarious dominance, I barely recognized her. She bounced to her feet and slapped her sister across the face. "That's enough!"

Stunned, Akira slowly lifts her hand to her cheek and blinked. After a moment, her expression hardened and she turned to leave. "Whatever, I'm leaving," she spat.

"I'm so sorry, Aunt Saya. I don't know what got into her," Kira bowed and followed after her sister. Once again, Haji and I were all alone.

What was that? I rose to my feet. "I'm going after her. I need to talk to her."

"No, Saya, she needs to calm down before you attempt anything like that," Haji caught my wrist.

"Fine…but I need to move. I'm going for a walk."

Haji got to his feet, his hand still encompassing my wrist. "I'll join you then," Haji smiled, obviously trying to lighten the despairing mood. I stared at him with evident confusion. How could he smile at a time like that?

"I don't know you anymore," I whispered spitefully as I looked him dead in his soulless orbs, filled with false joy. I yanked my wrist away and left before I could see the sorrow overcome him.

I ran. I ran as swiftly as my chiropteran powers allowed. 'Why did I say such a thing just now? Why did I purposely try to hurt him?'

All I could ever do was fill people with longing, hate, and loneliness. I saw that same hope and joy in Haji that used to be mine. All I wanted to do was steal it back. All I ever tried to do was steal it from everyone. If I couldn't have it, no one else could, right? So I punished them along with myself. I diminished everything good and filled it with meaningless anger.

All I could ever do was hurt Haji. It seemed I thrived on those small instances. Why was I like this? Isolation…I just needed to isolate myself from others. I needed to flee from this place-unfortunately, without Haji. I'm sure that wouldn't go smoothly. Well, it's not like he'd want to go anywhere with me after what I'd just said.

**_Haji_**

"I don't know you anymore," she hissed and ran out. I stood there, frozen. It was true. She didn't know me anymore. I was born anew only a week before. Even still, her words stung. Her words hurt the part of me that knew her. Why…why…why can't I remember?! If I remembered more, I could better understand Saya's sorrow. Better aid her. All I wished for was to make her happy. To help her. I felt so incredibly bound to her but I couldn't even remember why! All I was, was a hindrance. I had to remember! I had to go back to who I used to be. But to do that…to do that I had to answer Saya's question. I believe that should be my first step forward. I went after her without a second thought.

**_Saya_**

Once more, I found myself staring up at my family's tomb just as I had earlier that same day. It seemed I couldn't help it. My soul always called me back to this place. It made sense, I suppose. I spent most my life here after all. At least, for the last sixty some odd years I had.

_'Kai left us to you but hell; you've been asleep for the last fifteen years!' _Akira's odious voice echoed in my mind. Fifteen years? That had to be wrong. It's not even possible. If it really were true, I'd be uncontrollable. She couldn't possibly know what she was talking about…could she? I-

"Saya!" Haji yelled, panting as he bent over to catch his breath.

Astounded, my eyes widened. "How'd you find me here?" This new Haji had never been here before. Or maybe…maybe subconsciously he remembered. I hardly had time to think about it before he spoke again.

"Saya, I may not remember you but," he paused to take another breath. "I can't explain it, but I feel different with you. I feel we have this unbreakable bond. I feel the need to always be by your side and protect you. Strangely enough, I feel quite certain I'd gladly die for you. Some part of me-the old me-stile remembers you. Before I answer your question, I must ask one of my own. Haven't I already told you before? I mean before this all happened. Or has it been reduced to the unsaid truth?"

"Haji, what are you talking about?"

"Sitting around idly isn't fixing anything. I have to do something if I want to remember. So Saya, have I told you before?" He seemed all too serious.

"Are you talking about-"

"Yes."

"Then yes, you have."

He closed his eyes and nodded slowly, almost as if analyzing the situation. "Saya, I still-" Suddenly, he went quiet and all that could be heard where the various insects wandering in the outside air. A pained look overcame his features as he grabbed his head as if to stop some unbearable ache. He fell to his knees with a loud thud.

"Haji, what's wrong?!" I cried, running over to his side, placing comforting hands on his back to soothe what little I could. He writhed and yelled in pain, falling the rest of the way down. Then it ended as quickly as it had begun. His quivers ceased and he lay limply in my arms.

"Haji!" I screamed as the tears seeped into my eyes. I tried shaking him awake but nothing worked. I laid him flat on the frigid concrete and put my ear to his chest to listen for a heartbeat. **(Do they even have heartbeats anymore?)**

Just as I did, he took in a deep breath, making my head rise.

"Saya," he spoke softly and sweetly- just like he used to. His arms slowly went around me.

"Haji? What hap-"

"You're alright…" he said even more at ease, relieved his arms tightened on their hold.

"What?" I rose up as his arms fell away from me. "Of course I'm alright, but are you?"

"I am wonderful," he pushed himself up.

"But you-" then I looked into his soulful eyes. Haji…my Haji. He was the one gazing back on me. His memoires filled the vessel before me…his love. "Haji," I whispered in awe as tears splashed on the ground. I slid my hands on either side of his flawless face. "You're back," I smiled benevolently.

He wiped away my tears with his thumb. He put his forehead to mine and grimaced slightly. "Not for long, Saya."

"It doesn't matter to me," I said as he leisurely brought his lips to mine. Such a sweet delight. So long…it had been so long since I last tasted his lips on mine. It all felt so right. Our lips parted and we embraced. "I will always love you, Saya." His words caressed my ears with bliss.

I smiled. "I-" he suddenly became heavy in my arms. I was left alone. My haji had already departed without warning. "I…I love you too, Haji," I said barely audible.

**A/N: I really hope everyone enjoyed this one! Sorry it took so long! I hope it wasn't too cheesy! So the real Haji came back! Yay! The question is…will it ever happen again? Reviews are love~!~**


	10. Taking Control

**A/N: Hey everyone! Please…please don't smite me. I know I've been away for a LONG time but I've been busy…for the most part. Well, actually I really haven't felt like writing for good old Blood+…I know…let the smiting begin. Well here is a very long awaited chapter! Enjoy!**

**Saya**

Three days…three days without even a second of sleep. Three endless nights of tossing and turning. I hadn't been able to sleep since that night…the night of Haji's "return". I could still feel his wonderful, familiar touch gliding against my skin, his lips pressed to mine. I couldn't shake it. It was the most painful yet exhilarating feeling in the world. I didn't want to get rid of it…I wanted it to stay.

Even after three days, I couldn't make sense of it. What had happened? How could the real Haji come back for less than five minutes and then show no sign of ever returning? Haji showed no indication of having any recollection of that night. He seemed completely clueless. Good. He doesn't need to remember it. It's not like it would possibly do him any good.

Julia's been acting rather strange around me lately. When I come in for a transfusion, all she does is stare at me. Like she can see right through me. Like she knows something I don't. But it's not a look of concern or apprehension but of…no never mind…that's a ridiculous thought.

Something else has been keeping me awake at night. Not Julia's devouring stare, not Haji, but something Akira said. The night Haji came back, Akira said something to me that couldn't possibly be true. She said…I'd only been asleep for fifteen years. If that were true that'd mean everyone was lying to me. Why would they lie about something so irrelevant? What else could they be lying about? Why was I awake after so little time? Did that man from my dream somehow force me to awaken? Is that why Haji and Kai were at the tomb? Had Haji sensed it?

Enough! I had to know the truth. I had to find Akira and confirm it was all just a misunderstanding.

**Haji**

I'd been able to get through enough to control my own body but not long enough to tell anyone. Today was different. I'd gotten through but I wasn't forced back inside myself like the many times before.

I couldn't run to Saya as my body willed. Before I was rendered unconscious, I saw something. The man who shot us must've been a chiropteran as I saw him morph into a different person. It was Julia.

That's why I was standing in front of her clinic. I feared something much worse was on the verge of showing itself. I pushed the door of the clinic open and walked to Julia's office. I gave a light knock as not to draw attention to myself.

"Come in!" came her soft voice.

Before I opened the door, I replaced my visage with that of an amnesiac mask. I walked into her room and she beamed a stale smile. Her energy was different. She had an ominous air about her.

"Oh, Haji. Is there something I could do for you?" Her voice dripped with false compassion. "Have you remembered anything?"

I took the seat across from her before I answered. "Yes…well, maybe…maybe it's just a dream," I made my voice sound weak and defeated.

"Tell me about it," She was instantly curious.

"I remember walking down a dim lit hallway. Saya looks so different. Her hair is so richly long and there's light in her eyes. She seems so happy. We look as though we are going to an extravagant ball by our clothing. I hold my hand out to her and she takes it. She whispers something in my ear then but I can't remember what she said. I laughed and said, 'What is that?' and she replies with, 'It's your nickname!'.

It's been bothering me ever since I remembered it. I think if I can recall what she said, I might be able to remember something more."

"Why don't you ask Saya?"

"Well, she's been very busy and I didn't want to bother her. I was wondering if you could tell me, Julia."

"Tell you what?"

"What she used to call me," I stared at her desperately, awaiting her answer.

She leaned back in her chair. "'Kawaiko chan."

"…How did you know that?" I inquired suspiciously.

"Saya told me."

I straightened my posture and leaned forward with a keen glare. "I don't think she did," I said astutely.

Her eyes narrowed.

"Where's Julia?"

**A/N: I know it was short but what did you think? I hope it was all clear. I wrote this in a short time so sorry for any errors or misunderstandings. I'm sorry if it was a little stupid with the whole nickname thing but I COULD NOT think of literally anything. So sorry. I really hope you guys enjoyed it! Reviews are love~!~**


	11. Things Are Not Always As They Seem

**A/N: Hey everyone! Can you believe it?! I'm updating in less than five days! I loved reading your reviews! They made me smile :D! By the way, if anyone was wondering what his nickname was, it means "my little one" in Japanese. I apologize if everyone was OOC. I reread some of the story and I think I can better grasp the character now. I haven't written for Blood+ in a while. Anyway! This chapter shall be better! Bon appetit! **

**Chapter 11**

**Saya**

"Aunt Saya…Aunt Saya, I'm really scared. Akira's been acting strange," Kira whispered into the phone manically, her voice trembling.

"Kira? Slow down. I can barely understand you. What happened to Akira?" I said calmly, though I had a growing pit of anxiety burrowing deeper into my stomach.

"She's just…not herself. I feel threaten-" Her sentence was cut short. The line dropped.

I shoved my phone into my pocket and grabbed my jacket from the coat hanger before running out the door. I went to their apartment earlier that morning but no one came to the door and when I got home, Kira called me in a state of hysteria. What was I supposed to think? Something was far beyond wrong with Akira to make her sister so panicked. I know Akira can have outbursts of anger randomly but I'd assume after thirty- or fifteen- years Kira would be accustom to it. Nevertheless, I needed to find her.

**Haji**

I straightened my posture and leaned forward with a keen glare. "I don't think she did," I said astutely.

Her eyes became narrow slits as if a snake waiting for its time to strike. I could tell she was nervous. I could practically smell the sweat sweeping from her pores. I had her all figured out before she could even blink. By her lack of fluidity, I could easily tell this chiropteran had but a fraction of my time.

"Where's Julia?"

After a moment of clean silence, she let out a low, dark chuckle. "I'm not quite sure I understand your question…" her voice had deepened, changing to that of a man mid-sentence. "Haji…" As my name left her lips, her eyes burned a malevolent crimson.

I gave a slight nod of acknowledgement at her attempt to "frighten" me. "I believe we understand each other, you and I so I will not draw out this conversation any longer than nesseceary. I will ask you once more. After that I will force it out of you if need be. Where. Is. Julia?" My voice seemed to pulsate through the dense air, personifying a life of its own.

"Ah yes…Julia…she was a lovely little thing. Oh but don't worry…I played with her before I devoured her," she licked her lips as if tasting Julia's flesh once more. She was antagonizing me. She wanted me to act out. It was the only way she was to escape me. I had to remain calm, passive, untouched by her vile words. I couldn't succumb to her petty games. She let out another sickening laugh. "You'll never guess where I've hidden the others," she boasted haughtily, a slick grin quirking her lips.

"Others? No, I never would've even thought about the 'others' until now. Tell me more about these…'others'."

She immediately stiffened and cleared her throat. Her vanity caused her stupidity.

"You catch on quick. I'm impressed."

"What's there to 'catch on to' when you are feeding me the information?"

His grin was slowly sliding from his face as anger replaced it. "Nurse! Nu-" her words were cut short by my dagger at her throat.

"Do not underestimate me. My head might have suffered trauma but my speed is still intact," I whispered fiercely as I stood behind her, tightening my hold on her hair twisted within my fingers, opening her neck to my knife.

"You really think that dull blade of yours will kill me?"

"No but it will surely slow you," I said with a swift slash across her neck, her warm blood spilling over my hand and onto her crisp, white coat. I wiped my knife clean on the inside of my jacket and placed it back inside my pocket. I rinsed my hand off in her sink, keeping a sharp eye on her limp form slumped over her desk.

_'Others…what did she mean? Who else was involved? Who else had she taken?' _I opened the door only to see David standing there.

"Haji…you're smarter than we anticipated," he smiled, giving a nod.

**Saya**

"Why are you here, Aunt Saya? We're fine," Kira said serenely as she sat across from me in her apartment, completely different from the terrified girl on the other end on the phone.

"What'd you mean fine? You really did not sound fine when you called me. You sounded-"

"Well that was then and this is now," she seemed annoyed with the subject and determined to end it.

"What about Akira? What was wrong with her?" I was no less startled by her peaceful façade than I was on the way there. Actually, I was more unnerved.

She sighed. "She's fine. She got a little upset but she's ok now."

"Upset about what?"

"It doesn't matter."

My brow knitted together apprehensively. "What aren't you telling me, Kira? You know you can tell me anything. I can help-"

"I don't need your help! You know, maybe Akira was right. You just don't know anything about us," her voice was harsh and empty. I felt a pang of aching discomfort in my chest at her words.

"Kira, ple-"

"I think you should go," she didn't even look at me, her eyes to the floor.

_'What's happening?! Who is that girl sitting across from me? Something's wrong…dreadfully wrong. Haji…I needed to find Haji…'_

My heart was beating at a rapid pace; smothering my lungs it felt like. I ran out. I couldn't breath such thick air.

...

When I returned to the pub, Haji wasn't there. The only other place my hectic mind could think to look was the clinic.

"Hello, Saya. Nice day, isn't it?" Julia was abnormally exuberant, though there was the slightest hint of agitation edging her voice. I met her steady gaze with my own before averting my eyes and clearing my throat. Her usual white coat was absent from her shoulders. She appeared strangely naked without it.

"I suppose…Listen, I can't find Haji. Did he come by here? I'm still trying to get used to him being…like he is. He's not so predictable anymore and-"

"Perhaps I should surprise you more," his deep voice reverberated down my spine, soothing my nerves.

"Haji," I said with ease when I turned around to see him standing in the doorway of Julia's office, instinctively fleeing into his open arms. Without hesitation, he conformed to my body, wrapping his arms around me as he used to.

"Saya, what has happened?" The same composed, agile sense intertwined with his every word as before.

My body found comfort through his, relaxing into his hold. "I-" I stopped short, my sense coming to me. I pulled away and looked into his eyes. Something was different. I didn't see that same lost, soulless man that haunted those eyes once before. They were filled with compassion and concern…like before. "…Haji?"

His face gradually softened and a small smile spread his lips. I hadn't seen a more sincere smile on his face since the night that ended it all. He was back for good. I'm not sure how I knew…but I felt it deep within myself.

"Haji," I whispered, leaning up to kiss him. He cut his eyes to Julia before meeting my lips.

**A/N: Wow…that was intense…for me at least…I wrote this in the wee hours of the morning with coffee in my system. I hope everyone liked it! I thought it was time to pick things up after ten chapters so here we are! If anything was confusing, please tell me! I will explain as best as I can unless you are supposed to be confused at which you will find your answers later in the story. This story is turning into invasion of the body snatchers or whatever. Great…oh well, I loves it! Reviews are love~!~**


	12. Only Passion In The Presence Of Darkness

**A/N: Hello my fellow fanfictioners…I that's not even a word but who cares!? I'm a writer, I make shit up…it's kinda my thing. ANYWAY! Thank you guys so much for the reviews! You have no idea how much it helps me. For this chapter, I must WARN you. This chapter contents 'mature subject matter'…I guess…I don't really even know. You've been warned…don't worry, it's really quite harmless. Ok I'm gonna shut up now…read away!**

**Chapter 12**

**Julia**

"It is done. The plan is unfolding nicely, Amshel. She suspects nothing now with Haji at her side."

"Excellent. Keep it that way. Don't lose focus. We're almost to our goal. Okinawa will be ours to command in little time. Soon chiropterans will roam the earth freely. It's so close I can taste it."

**Saya**

"So what happened? How did it all come back?" I inquired Haji as we walked back home from the clinic.

"Well, Julia helped me remember. It was a bit overwhelming at first but I came around." He had his hand placed at the small of my back protectively.

"Do you remember anything before you woke up in her clinic?"

"If you mean who attacked us, then no, I do not," he said, his resentment in his voice saying more than his words.

"I wish things were different this time. I wish this wasn't happening…" I mumbled under my breath.

"Things will be different very, very soon, I assure you."

I sighed. "I really hope you're right."

"Don't worry, Saya," He whispered softly, his warm breath tickling my skin as he kissed my temple.

I couldn't possibly express my happiness. Everything…everything was so perfect with Haji and I now. Everything felt so incredibly complete. The only person that could make that moment any better was Kai. Kai…I miss him…so much. He fought so hard everyone…but not himself.

"Kai…I wish you were here…" I said subconsciously.

"Kai…he tried to save you from that man but-"

"I know…He was only a human. He wasn't strong enough…" I averted my gaze to the dusty pavement leading home as I felt the tears sting my eyes.

"No…a week before you woke up, he said something quite strange. It was out of the blue really. He said, 'If I don't make…like something happens to me, an accident or something, make sure Saya knows there wasn't a day that went by that she wasn't on my mind,'." I could hear Kai's quirky voice resonate through Haji's as he spoke those words. I could almost see him…touch him…he felt so close. It gave me a sense of hope…like he was still here.

"Thank you, Haji," I wrapped my arms around him as we strode side by side.

"For what?"

"For telling me that."

…Five Days Later…

Things seemed to go back to normal after a while. The twins seemed to adjust to me being around, as had everyone else. Haji and I were figuring a few things out. I wanted to take things at a gradual pace. I didn't want any confusion for a while.

"I know what I have to do. Yes, yes," Haji said into the cell phone as he stood outside.

_'Cell phone…since when does Haji have a cell phone? He told me he hated cell phones. He said it took away from the quality of relationships.'_

"It'll be soo- fine, today…" Haji flipped the phone closed and entered the pub looking extremely frazzled.

"Who was that?"

"Julia. She wants me to come in for a few tests today."

"Today? It's already past five," I asked, glancing to the clock, feeling slightly disappointed.

"I'll be right back," he said, giving me a quick kiss on the lips before heading out the door. It still caught me off guard when he kissed me. It's not that I didn't like it because I did. For so long, he was nothing but a companion and now he's suddenly my…boyfriend? No. Significant other? He was my significant other. It's strange to even call him that. I thought perhaps he might be slightly uncomfortable with it all. He'd been acting rather odd lately, somewhat reserved…not all there. I wanted to ask if something was troubling him but maybe he just needs time like everyone else.

…

It'd been five hours but Haji still hadn't returned. I opened the blinds, letting the moonlight pool in. I crawled into bed and stared out the window almost in a daze. The blue, almost black, clouds layered the sky as the opalescent moon illuminated their long, misty form. It seemed to be in a parallel world, the moon, as it reflected lucidly in the mirror. It was in this world but also another. I started to wonder if there was another me in that parallel world. I wondered what that version of me was doing at that very moment. Was anything the same there?

A knock on my door disturbed me from my irrelevant babble. My head jerked towards the door in surprise. "C-come in."

"Saya," Haji gracefully slid the door open. "I wanted to tell you I have returned."

"Oh, ok," I said as my eyes looked to my alarm clock. "It's late, how many tests to Julia want to run?"

He cleared his throat and stepped in a little, releasing the doorknob from his firm grip. He seemed unusually nervous and maybe slightly flustered. I didn't know what to make of it. I honestly hadn't seen him like this since he was a boy. It was really quite adorable actually.

"Haji, are you feeling alright? You seem…odd," I finished, trying to hide the quirking of my lips. I slid the blankets off my cold legs and walked over to him as he met me halfway. "You look p-" Before I could finish he captured my lips in a kiss, a kiss aching with desire. Shocked by his sudden move, I froze, standing in a daze for a moment that ended when he pulled away. He leaned his forehead into mine as we breathed heavily. I wanted more. I wanted so much more. I wanted him. He kissed me again only softly, cupping my face in his hands as my skin shivered with anticipation. My fingers found their way into his wavy black hair. He broke once more and our eyes met. After a long moment, he whispered, "I love you,"

"And I you," Our lips did not part as I led him toward the bed.

…

I took in a deep breath when I awoke, my eyes darting around out of habit. My heads was gradually rising for a moment and then falling. I felt smooth, light fingers caressing the line of my spine, drawing small circles in my skin ever now and then. It was so wonderful to wake up in his arms, to his touch, his scent. So wonderful.

I felt different even still. It was difficult to explain. It was bitter-sweet in a way. It wasn't at all how I imagined I'd feel after my first time. I was actually rather curious of Haji's thoughts. I couldn't just ask him though. I mean, how would you ask a question like that? _'So…how was the sex for you?' _No! I could never ask such a question! It's far too embarrassing. I felt my cheeks burning with just the thought.

"Saya, I was hoping you'd wake up soon," I could hear the sweet smile in his deep voice.

**A/N: Hey! I hope everyone liked it! I really hope it wasn't too cheesy! I know I made the romance a little short but i just don't like writing those kinds of scenes. I hope everyone is pleasantly confused! Please tell me your thoughts! Reviews are love~!~**


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